I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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