but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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