Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So vagazzling was a success
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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