garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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