One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
