You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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