She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
