i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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