I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was born a porn star she said
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
