this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
