Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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