I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
