Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
