Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
