Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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