sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
