Im at strip club and am horny
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ðŸ˜ðŸ’€#pensacolaproblems
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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