Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
