Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize