he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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