new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
