i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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