Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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