smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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