I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
