i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
