He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
