you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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