just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
