I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
