We're facebook friends in real life
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
