THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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