I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
