It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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