Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
