You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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