He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
