shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
