your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
