Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
