My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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