hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
