Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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