i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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