i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
