Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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