he shaved USA in his pubs
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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