don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
