I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
