Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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